Navigate through the second stage of your relationship
1. Buying things:- when buying things, do you consider your partner? Many times, when we buy things, we look at it that we are buying things for ourselves since we’re not married yet. How we act when we deal with things to be bought transcends to how we treat our partner in our relationship. To buy things, we need money. Trying to acquire more things to satisfy ourselves can be obsessive. This obsession can affect the way we treat others. It can make us place more focus on acquiring things than keeping people.
2. Using things:- Attention doesn’t die. Its more or less like energy. It gets transferred to another thing. During the first stage of a relationship, the sole attention is given to the partner. Entering the second stage, many let this attention shift. This time, they’re not trying to impress the other one, so the attention that was once for one person shifts to other things. Let me bring an example. Mobile phone is one of the biggest stealers of attention. While the use of mobile phone is not bad, many make its use bad. How so? The use of mobiles can take away all the attention meant for your partner. There will always be people to talk to. Why not give off that little time you have with your partner, keeping the use of your mobile to the minimum. The use of mobiles is just an example. The main point is making sure to avoid our use of different things to affect our relationship.
3. Talking to your partner:- Everyone or most people in relationships know that communication is a key to keeping a relationship moving. What is communication? This is a process where people express their thoughts and feelings so that the other party can understand. Many relationships fail because of the lack of communication. The second point highlights the way we use things. This can affect communication in a relationship either positively or negatively. Why positively or negatively? Let’s understand the concept of communicating first. Talking and communicating are two different things. Its easy to talk. Talking can be one sided whereby one talks and the other hears but doesn’t reciprocate or listen. For you to communicate, your listener has to understand you, if possible respond and reciprocate in the discussion. There are different ways of communicating. There are 3 types that should always be employed in a relationship.
• Verbal communication: this is one commonly used form of communication. It involves the act of talking and listening.
• Written communication: this involves the act of sending messages for the other to draw meaning from. Most people do this in the first stage but stop on entering the second stage
• Non-verbal communication: also an important form of communication as it is one that deals with behaviors, reaction to actions, facial expressions etc. This one is more noticed in the second stage which goes to show its importance in stage two of your relationship.
We will discuss more on communication later down the series. For now, lets get back to how we stop being unselfish .
4. Relating with friends:- Friends make our lives enjoyable. They give us a new dimension. Be it in thinking, talking, acting. They influence our lives in different ways. Does your relationship have to hamper your friendship with others? Well, the moment you enter a relationship, it is vital to note that your partner moves to number 1 position. Most times friends do not like this. They feel left behind. This occurs mostly in the first stage of the relationship when the love bond is still strong. Sadly though, some let this affect the way they treat their partner. The moment they get to stage two, there’s distance between the two of them. Reduced communication because they feel free to discuss matters with friends than with their partner. I am not saying you should push your friends away, you just have to do one thing that your partner who loves you will really appreciate. Prioritize things. If your partner knows he/she is first, you have reduced problems. Mature friends know when you want some me-time with your partner. They don’t have to feel left. You can relate with your friends when your partner isn’t around. It all has to do with balancing and setting priorities. Being unselfish with your dealings with your partner will help you balance things.
Sometimes these things look easy to do, but if we take time to observe, we notice most broken relationships stem from not following such small things as being unselfish.
We have so much to discuss on how to successfully navigate the second stage of your relationship. The first step has been taken. Learning to be unselfish. While discussing how to be unselfish, we highlighted communication. We will discuss intricately what communication does in a relationship. The role of communication and how to hold it for the benefit of your relationship.
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